SATURAY, 9/15/07; 8:00 AM

I had quite an emotional day with little Miss Gracie yesterday. The few times Gracie had "come to" over the last few days it was like she didn't even know who I was. Yesterday, anytime I made eye contact with her she would close her eyes which is what she did to me for the first 4 or 5 days after we got her. One of the nurses explained to me that many people who have been on by-pass machine during surgery have said they have memory loss, confusion, and are very disoriented for weeks. They told me not to expect to take home the same child we brought here. She woke up very upset and uncomfortable several times yesterday and it was heart wrenching for me because she didn't seemed comforted by me being there at all. The nurse let me hold her and she didn't like that at all & was very uncomfortable so we basically put her right back in her bed. I went to lay down for a while in the afternoon and all I could do was sob. I miss her---even though I'm here with her and I miss Scott, Kaleb, Lucas and Chloe too. I just want to go home and for things to be "normal". The evening went much better though. When I went back to her room at around 5:30 pm she "came to" and wanted to sit up so I helped her. She just sat there and stared off into space for a few minutes. She seemed like she was getting really tired so I slowly started to lay her back down but she resisted and then put her arms out to me and leaned into my arms!!! Yeah, she wanted me!!! I carefully picked her up and she zonked out and I couldn't stop the tears!!! Hopefully I will see some more glimpses of our sweet little Gracie today.